How to talk about the summer heat in a way that won’t bore everyone

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A real burner. Hot enough for you? You’d think those triple-digit temperatures melted our brains and dried up our creative juices at the same time.

There was a time when the rising mercury was talked about with the lofty language of poetry, when newspapers invoked the gods and anthropomorphized the sun in colorful articles, when ordinary people coined enduring colloquialisms equating time with devil, peppers and even goats.

Here are a few examples to inspire your own creativity, so the next time someone comes your way with a lukewarm “Ugh, it’s so hot,” you can burn it off with your twinkling wit and clever turn of phrase. Cool.

There was a time when the rising mercury was talked about with the lofty language of poetry, when newspapers invoked the gods and anthropomorphized the sun in colorful articles, when ordinary people coined enduring colloquialisms equating time with devil, peppers and even goats.

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The power of the press

One of the earliest newspaper references to 100 degree temperatures in San Antonio comes from the August 18, 1883 edition of the San Antonio Light. And wow is that a doozy.

The article above the fold goes straight to the point with the prosaic title: “It’s hot”.

But beneath that is a smaller caption declaring “hot days and sultry nights vexing the people of Alamo City.” Then things really heat up:

“The heat in San Antonio at the present time is more intense than has been known for many years, if the statements of former residents are, as they should be, to be believed. They all say…that it is as hot as Hades. The thermometer registers over 100 degrees daily in the shade, and there is a near absence of that lovely breeze which is the lifeblood of life in the city. rarefies every day, and the general opinion is that a true north, or cool rain would have a heavenly effect on the overheated citizens of San Antonio. The worst part is that the nights are hot too, and as a result Morpheus is a shy god, and wants to woo much before enveloping the citizens in his gentle embrace.”

On ExpressNews.com: CPS Energy bills jumped more than 50% in June as temperatures and gas prices rise

There was a time when the rising mercury was talked about with the lofty language of poetry, when newspapers invoked the gods and anthropomorphized the sun in colorful articles, when ordinary people coined enduring colloquialisms equating time with devil, peppers and even goats.

There was a time when the rising mercury was talked about with the lofty language of poetry, when newspapers invoked the gods and anthropomorphized the sun in colorful articles, when ordinary people coined enduring colloquialisms equating time with devil, peppers and even goats.

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And how about these hot takes on the hot weather from The Daily Light:

“Yesterday went to the front as the hottest day of the year. The thermometer rested at 100 degrees in the shade, then seemed inclined to climb higher at the slightest provocation. — July 10, 1884

“The temperature was sent up to 101 in the shade, and for once in a lifetime, the city of Alamo took the belt for being the hottest place in the state.” — June 2, 1887

“When the old Sol makes the mercury rise to 100 degrees in the shade, even the rascals and the idlers are forced to “eat bread by the sweat of their brow”. ” — July 21, 1895

On ExpressNews.com: A squirrel’s method of beating the Texas heat catches TikTok’s attention

There was a time when the rising mercury was talked about with the lofty language of poetry, when newspapers invoked the gods and anthropomorphized the sun in colorful articles, when ordinary people coined enduring colloquialisms equating time with devil, peppers and even goats.

There was a time when the rising mercury was talked about with the lofty language of poetry, when newspapers invoked the gods and anthropomorphized the sun in colorful articles, when ordinary people coined enduring colloquialisms equating time with devil, peppers and even goats.

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sayings for heat

And here are some choice phrases Texans and other Southerners use to describe the heat, which include euphemisms collected from the web:

Hotter than a goat with a blowtorch.

It’s hotter than a blister insect in a patch of pepper.

It’s so hot that the ice cream truck has melted.

Hotter than Satan’s house cat.

Hotter than the Devil’s armpit.

Hotter than a witch tit in a brass bra.

Hotter than a stolen tamal.

May these fine examples quench our city’s collective creative thirst like a cold raspa on a hot summer afternoon. And may the rain gods soon shower us with their blessings.

Express-News researcher Misty Harris contributed to this report.

[email protected] | Twitter: @reneguz

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