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The holidays make many of us especially nostalgic for family recipes: a grandma’s secret turkey stuffing, a great aunt’s delicious gingerbread cookies or a mother’s beloved homemade bread. Krista Ball was craving this, so she called her mom in Newfoundland to get the recipe so she could make a batch herself.
Silly Krista must have forgotten that her mother, like most mothers and grandmothers, doesn’t follow a recipe. That is, unless you define a recipe as a 45 minute conversation where you end up with a list of less than half of the ingredients needed, no actual instructions, and two tangents unrelated to cooking. from another family member.
The following is a completely unexaggerated transcript of Krista’s phone call, which proves that it is going to take a lot of patience and even more trial and error for our generation to keep these traditional family recipes in place. walk :
The following conversation is not a lie or an exaggeration. Background: “Homemade bread†is something we all grow up with in Newfoundland and it’s not like any other bread I have eaten. So we kids have grown up and want to make it happen.
– The Sins We Are Looking For 32,429 / 110,000 words (@ kristadb1) November 24, 2017
The problem is, no one believes in recipes. So anywhere, here’s the recipe (it’s like the 5th time I ask mom)
– The Sins We Are Looking For 32,429 / 110,000 words (@ kristadb1) November 24, 2017
The fifth time, is it the charm? No, it’s never that.
Me: How to make a small batch of bread?
Mom: Like 6 loaves of bread?
Me: Less, of course. 6.
Mom: You need a bag of flour.
Me: Which one?
Mom: The big bag. Not the big, big bag. But the big one. You don’t want the little one. I don’t know what you got up there in this place– The Sins We Are Looking For 32,429 / 110,000 words (@ kristadb1) November 24, 2017
(note: “up there at this place” = Alberta)
Me: Am I using the whole bag?
Mom: Not unless you want to make a jackpot.
Me: Okay then. Part of the bag of flour. What else?
Mom: You need a large loaf pan.
Me: I understood.
Mom: You need a big one.
Me: Okay.– The Sins We Are Looking For 32,429 / 110,000 words (@ kristadb1) November 24, 2017
Mom: you need more than double the sugar than you need salt.
Me: How much?
Mom: Just pour it in your hand, then double the sugar and then a little.
Me: How much of your hand?
Mom: Just in your good hand.
Me: Ok, salt, double sugar.
Mom: A little more than double– The Sins We Are Looking For 32,429 / 110,000 words (@ kristadb1) November 24, 2017
Can’t measure? Just pour it into your hand and be done already!
Me: Yeast?
Mom: You need a bag.
Me: A package?
Mom: a three-pack, yes.
Me: okay, so 3 packs?
Mom: You don’t want to put so much yeast!
Me: … okay. What else?
Mom: You have to heat the milk. I put 6 cups.
Me: Cups?
Mom: The glass mug that Dad loves.– The Sins We Are Looking For 32,429 / 110,000 words (@ kristadb1) November 24, 2017
How many “daddy likes glass cups” in an ounce, do you think?
Me: … I know who you mean. Okay, 6 cups.
Mom: If you can’t buy all the milk, add some water, but it’s not as good.
Me: Ok, just milk.
Mom: With a little water.
Me: But you said not to put water.
Mom: You need water for the yeast.
Me: okay, so water for the yeast– The Sins We Are Looking For 32,429 / 110,000 words (@ kristadb1) November 24, 2017
Mom: So you make a well, pour it all with the melted butter …
Me: is there any butter?
Mom: It’s melted.
Me: how much?
Mom: Just a little.
Me: how much is it?
Mom: A few spoonfuls.
Me: okay. So you mix well?
Mom: Yes.– The Sins We Are Looking For 32,429 / 110,000 words (@ kristadb1) November 24, 2017
(explains his personal feelings about the double raising of bread, which is apparently something people argue over)
Me: What are you cooking it on?
Mom: You put it in the pots, good.
Me: I mean, the temperature.
Mom: Not too hot.
Me: 400?
Mom: It’s too hot!
Me: Okay, so 350?
Mom: I guess. Yes.– The Sins We Are Looking For 32,429 / 110,000 words (@ kristadb1) November 24, 2017
Me: How long?
Mom: Until it’s done.
Me: how long does it take?
Mom: It depends on how full the oven is. Then you take it out, rub butter on it and let it cool. It’s not hard.
Me: … it’s like building a nuclear bomb.– The Sins We Are Looking For 32,429 / 110,000 words (@ kristadb1) November 24, 2017
Like, seriously, Krista’s mom doesn’t have time to explain to Krista how the ovens work.
(note that this is all done by shouting as she can’t hear me on the phone and refuses to turn down the TV)
– The Sins We’re Looking For 40,125 / 110,000 words (@ kristadb1) November 24, 2017
If Krista manages to bake homemade bread, even from afar, reminiscent of her mother’s, for the sake of the next generation, we hope she will write it down. (And let us know if it was one or three packets of yeast.)
Image Source: StockSnap / Kate Remmer
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